Don't ever take things for granted ;

M.I.A.ed

Nothing much to blog about.
I miss 2008.
Exams in 2-3weeks time.
Study? No mood.

I just want to dissappear for awhile.
And when everything is back in place then I'll be back.

I'm tired of giving so much&not receiving at all.
I'm tired of bothering so much yet not being appreciated at the end of the day.
I'm tired of caring so much when you dont even cared.
I'm tired of saying so much when all I get was silence.
I'm tired of giving in each&every time when nothing is gonna change.
I'm tired of taking the first move each&everytime but ended up getting disappointed.
I'm tired of being placed the last in your daily routine.
I'm tired of your couldnt-care-last attitude.

If you still think you're not wrong, continue.
You'll regret one day, for sure.

I just need more love, more care, more time.
Where's the Baby I used to have?
Being there 24/7.
Spending each&every single day with me.
Messaging me every morning/night without fail.
Assuring me that you love me&cant live without me.
So what's now?

Reading through the old messages in the night makes me smile with tears.
I'm willing to listen to all explanations/unhappiness from you.
Dont keep everything to yourself&assume that I know what the hell you're thinking.

One day, I'll be gone.
I'll stay strong people, no worries.

Walk away, Loved. 6:09:00 PM `

Never there.

Baby, you're never there.

At times when I needed you so much.
At times when I needed a warm hug.
At times when I needed a shoulder to lean on.
At times when I missed you so badly.
At times when I'm all alone.
At times when I wanted to share all my joy with you.
At times when I wanted to pour my sorrow to you.

You arent there,
Just when I needed you so much...

Am I too much? I doubt...

Walk away, Loved. 1:36:00 AM `

It seemed everlasting.

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely

And we'll linger on...

___________________________________________

I've seen the best in you before, &I believe what I saw.
But I really dont know what's happening now, could you please enlighten me?

What I ever wanted were very simple,
Would you just spare me some time&hear me out?
I would want to know what you're thinking as well.

4 more days.
&it marks the 7th. :D

I love you, baby.
Always...

_______________________________________________

Cause lately it seems

The distance between us is growing too wide

I'm so afraid that you're saying it's over

That's the last thing that I wanna hear

But if your heart's not in it for real

Please don't try to fake what you don't feel

If our love's already gone

It's not fair to lead me on

Cause I would give the whole world for you

Anything you ask of me I'd do

But I won't ask you to stay

I'd rather walk away

If your heart's not in it

Those beautiful moments, you have forgotten?
We have got plans, I want to fulfil them with you.

Oh, random.
&I would call you a bitch or rather a slut! :D

Walk away, Loved. 8:27:00 PM `

I cant wait.

I miss my baby, baby, babyboy...
When can we go dating? LOLS.

Movies soon yes?
Kbox soon yes?

=X

I cant wait for all projects to end.
I cant wait for all presentations to be over.
I cant wait for CNY. (At least a break from school)
I cant wait for exams to be gone.
I cant wait for the 2months' holidays!
I cant wait to work, earn&save up!
I cant wait for gatherings, datings, outings!

Oh god oh god.
Totally cant wait.
LOLS.

Stats&Accounts ICA2 are over&done with. wahahahahaha. Stats was a killer but Accounts was still managable. :D after school, last minute touch up for Management project, eat with Bf at Funan, he went for guitar while I meet Erinna&Gaofei for awhile. then home after that.

_________________________________________________

9th January, Friday.

met up with Huimin. sitting by the riverside to chat was what I loved. we smile, we laugh&we teared. I love you Goodgurl.

10th January, Saturday.

Swimming in the morning with Erinna Lin. then dinner with relatives, then went over to Da yi's house after dinner. mahjong-ed till 4plus in the morning&home-d.

nothing interesting already I suppose?

Weekdays was spent studying for Stats&Accounts ICAs with 3lovelies, Janet, Josephine&Sharon. (:

Walk away, Loved. 11:51:00 PM `

If I were a boy.

If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys and chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted and
I'd never get confronted for it cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken so they'd think that I was sleeping alone

I’d put myself first and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’ll be faithful,
Waiting for me to come home, to come home.

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake, think i'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought it wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understand and you don't understand, ohhhh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

But you're just a boy

___________________________________________________

Walk away, Loved. 2:38:00 PM `

Patience.

Staying strong is much easier to be said than done.
Mayb thinking on the bright side of life is just another way of running away from the reality.

4th January, Sunday.

was home the whole day I suppose. dinner with Parents at house downstairs.

life has been getting more&more boring.

5th January, Monday.

school from 10am-3pm or so. went Suntec with Bf. shopped around&I have no idea how much he spent. LOLS. home around 6pm.

6th January, Tuesday.

school from 10am-12pm. lunched then project till I forget what time. home after that. went over Godmum's place for awhile then dinner-ed with Parents, Sister&Brother-in-law at Novena, Lao Beijing. the mango dessert is superb I swear. but it isnt cheap ofcourse. hahahah. home after that.

7th January, Wednesday.

school from 9am-1pm. went Fareast with Bf, wanted to get heels but nothing caught my eyes. ended up, Bf bought shoes instead. hahah. went over to Bugis, wanting to get some clothings as well. nothing really nice. Bf bought jeans anyway. cant remember what else he bought though. we watched the movie Seven Pounds. not really nice imo. hahahaha. home around 8plus.

8th January, Thursday.

wake up at 2pm or so. prepared&stuff. meet up with Erinna&Gaofei. bus-ed to Bugis. lunched at Kfc. after eating, Erinna started her shopping spree. she spent like $170? LOLS. well, home around 9pm.

Where is the love?

It's always the same old fcuking habits/stuff that got me pissed.
I'm fcuking tired.

F life.

Walk away, Loved. 11:18:00 PM `

Pick me up.

Though 2009 didnt started out as great.
But I'm really glad with what's happening around me now.
Once again, I feel the stability in my life.

&yes, one more thing.
I'm learning to trust you once again, forgetting what happened months ago.
Dont betray it again. It's really difficult for me to trust someone.
Trust is the key in a relationship, yes? :D

&if you realised, I'm changing, for the better I suppose.
Taking things easily unless it's really something serious.
I just want this year to be great especially for us.
No more unnecessary quarrels/conflicts/tiffs or whatever, it arent doing us any good.
6months isnt really long, but it seriously isnt easy.
We're gonna make it through, yeah? (:

&yes, I know that sometimes,
I'm irritating,
I'm demanding,
I'm unreasonable,
I get really pissed,
I get really disappointed,
I get really angry,
I get really upset,
I think a lot,
I ask a lot,
(the list goes on&on)

But you know it's because I love you&I trust you do too.

______________________________________________________

Alright, basically I lost track of what I have been doing for the past one week. well, nothing much I suppose cause school reopened&life havent been really great since then.

31st December, Wednesday.

like I mention in my previous post, I was out with Erinna Lin. the night was great with her yet terrible for her.

Before.....

&After

Emo? LOLS.

1st January, Thursday.

meet up with my long-time-no-see darlings. dinner-ed at Tampines Seoul Garden along with Gillian, Queenie, Queenie's brother Ashley, Peixuan, Jose, Rina&Andre. after dinner, bus-ed to Queenie's house for a chitchat session, poker session, &alittle of drinking session. &ofcourse cake-caking session for Peixuan Mummy who turns 19 when the clock strike 12am! hahahaha. home around 2plus. I enjoyed myself with them! we shall meet up more often, I'm having holidays soon my dear girls! hehe.

pics are all with Gillian...

2nd January, Friday.

Happy 19th Birthday to my dearest Mummy, Bai Pei Xuan!
may everything goes well for you&last longlong with Daddy! hahahaha.

met up with Bf. dinner-ed at my house downstairs derh hawker then went The Cathay for movie, College. funny show but not my type of movie. mayb guys would love it more. after movie, went to play Pool at Cine's Kpool. LOLS. then supper at i-dont-know-what-is-it-called. LOLS. shared hokkien mee, then home around 2plus.

A nice short night with you.
We used to have such nights often but seldom now.
How I wish time would just stop then.
So that the night will never ends.

3rd January, Saturday.

around 3plus, went for haircut(again) with Mum, Sister&niece at Kimage Kovan. Sister have got voucher so everything was free! I trimmed&did treatment again. it's FOC, so why not? hahahah. after haircut around 6pm, had my first meal for the day. I've been eating lesser&lesser these few days. so dead. I only eat one&a half meal yesterday. today around the same too. my god. well, after eating, went Yuying for Band practice. Jasline was there! how great. finally I have got a companion for Band practice. hehe. after practice, went over to Erinna's place together with Jasline. Mac delivery for Jasline&I while Erinna had her own food. stayed there till 12plus, Erinna's Father drove us home. thanks Uncle. (:

&I hope you will appreciate me more too.
Show me, tell me how much you really love me.
Let me know that I'm not wasting my effort.
Loved.

Walk away, Loved. 1:15:00 AM `

Happy 2009.

Bet everyone had a nice countdown last night or rather spent the very last moment of 2008 with your loved ones. for me, I stayed at home. no plans, no nothing. just hoping to spend this very day with someone really dear but it doesnt seems to get across. how nice of a day when you're so looking forward to spending with your one&only yet he/she had got other plans that doesnt involve you. tears flows on the very last day of 2008, loneliness filled the very last day of 2008. this wasnt what I expected. I didnt make a big fuss out of it when you're having your fun, I controlled. I'm so dishearted because you're the first whom I could spend Christmas&New Year with. like what I always wish for, spending all these occasion with my Bf, because usually all my girlfriends have got their Bfs&I would turn out being left out but still having to join them. Family? needless to say, you know how my family is like. yet, you make them so hurting to remember it. I envy those who could spend this very day with your the other half. mayb your day didnt turn out as great but at least he/she is willing to celebrate this very day with you. Be Grateful cause not everyone had the chance to.

Right now, I just want to thank Erinna Lin for all that she had done for me. she was kind enough to meet up with me at 11plus upon leaving her family gathering earlier just because of me. thanks darling, you're so great. you're always there when I needed someone, you're always there to listen to my nonsense. thanks for standing by me during those hardest time. thanks for always making sacrifices just for me. I know even if Gaofei isnt working this day, you would still expect me join you&him. though the night wasnt that great, due to my mood, due to that drink that makes you feel like vomiting, we still did enjoyed ourselves right? I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Well anyhow, it's still a New Year. I just want 2009 to be great.
A New Year, A New Start.

Walk away, Loved. 2:53:00 PM `